So this article about how working mothers really can’t have it all has been making the rounds very quickly among the mid 20’s-mid 30’s working girl set. As well it should, since I haven’t seen or heard anything else that speaks so accurately about the angst and insecurities I feel about one day becoming a working mother. I personally found the article both depressing and refreshing. Depressing because that naïve hope that maybe, someday, if I seriously got my act together, I might have a shot at having it all has been destroyed. Refreshing because it’s nice to finally have someone acknowledge that not being able to have it all doesn’t mean you’re lazy or not dedicated.
For the past few years I have felt a significantly mounting pressure to figure out my work life and figure it out quickly. I have always felt like I needed to be firmly established in my career before I could start having children. It seems like that is the only way to really garner any true flexibility and not completely kill your career. I feel like I have to squeeze what some people accomplish in a decade into 3 to 5 years. The article didn’t entirely ease that angst, but it did at least make me feel like I won’t be a complete failure if I can’t accomplish it. I suppose that’s progress. Now I just need to figure out how to become a professor of something….
It’s Summer Solstice time! The runt of summer holidays. I have mixed feelings about the Summer Solstice. On the one hand, it signifies that the days will only get shorter from here. This is something I would prefer not to be reminded of, if possible. On the other hand, it’s the peak of summer, and frankly who doesn’t love another reason to celebrate summer? So I will be ignoring the first hand and concentrating solely on the celebrating.
This year I have decided to celebrate by making peach cobbler, a huge blowout I know. Peaches are one of my favorite things about summer (along with sunshine, ice cream, beaches, bonfires, vacation….) and I have been thinking about making peach cobbler for about a month now. I may or may not have already bought peaches 3 separate times specifically for this purpose, but somehow I have yet to actually make it. This is in part because I seem to lack my mom’s 6th sense that lets her know when fruit is ripe. Maybe that skill magically comes along after you give birth; at least I hope it does. For me, they always seem to go straight from being too hard to too mushy. This time I got lucky and found a couple good ones, which turned into the perfect ooey gooey summer treat.
It’s graduation season and of course that means a flood of inspirational speeches about going out and conquering the world, accomplishing your dreams, and overcoming your fears. The following excerpt is from Marina Keegan’s incredibly insightful column for the commencement edition of the Yale Daily News:
There’s this sentiment I sometimes sense, creeping in our collective conscious as we lay alone after a party, or pack up our books when we give in and go out – that it is somehow too late. That others are somehow ahead. More accomplished, more specialized. More on the path to somehow saving the world, somehow creating or inventing or improving. That it’s too late now to BEGIN a beginning and we must settle for continuance, for commencement.
What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. It’s hilarious. We’re graduating college. We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.
While I’m several years past graduation myself, I have not been able to shake the same feeling that it’s somehow too late for me. That I’ve wasted my opportunities; that I’m already too far behind to really accomplish anything. Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I’m not the only person in the universe that feels that way. It especially helps when the other person ends up being someone who, most people would say, is just starting out with all the time in the world.
In a sick twist of irony, Marina was killed in a car accident just days after her graduation. What better way to honor what was clearly a talented life cut too short than by taking her words to heart? We must not lose our sense of possibility.
So the husband left for his summer internship this weekend. And of course, despite my best efforts, I cried a little. A few weeks ago I was on the verge of a real solid cry during this, at work which was totally not awkward at all, so I’m not sure why I thought I could get through our good-bye without a few minor waterworks. But my tear ducts’ betrayal is neither here nor there.
Like any well-adjusted adult, I dealt with my sad good-bye and newly empty apartment by eating my feelings. I thought about baking, but I was feeling a little too lazy for that. Plus I had hours of husband-banned tv to get to watching, the NCAA softball tournament, the Gilmore Girls and Step-Up were really calling my name. So I went with the tried and true Mexican 7-layer dip. It’s delicious, always reminds me of wonderful family holidays, includes a great creamy/salty combo, and takes almost no time to make. It’s also very easy to convince yourself that it’s healthy, especially after you add a couple extra layers.
- Refried beans – a girl needs some protein right?
- Guacamole – basically just avocados, veggies & spices mashed up. It’s good fat people.
- Sour cream – you need to get your calcium somehow right?
- Salsa – again just veggies and spices
- Cheddar cheese – more calcium!
- Spinach – veggies
- Tomatoes – veggies
- Black olives – basically veggies
- Green onions – totally doesn’t count as anything, there couldn’t possibly be calories in those little things
See totally healthy. Add in some wine, chocolate, and I almost feel better.
I think blogs are weird. I never realized exactly how weird until I began to start one myself. I never thought about the ego that would be necessary to write one. Not that everyone with a blog has an overblown ego, but I at least haven’t been able to really muster up the confidence to assume that anyone will ever read this, let alone find it addictingly enjoyable.
So for now this blog will just be for me; that is until I find some amazingly witty advice that needs to be shared with the world and will nab me some fabulous book deal. Until then, it will just be a forum to help me get a handle on my life (thankfully this allows me time to decide who should play me in the inevitable movie version of my future book).
I have finally come to the realization that I will never enjoy working as an accountant. It wasn’t exactly a breakthrough revelation. I’ve never liked it, but I always thought maybe that would change if other factors, i.e. employer or hours, changed. It didn’t. So now I’m faced with the incredibly daunting task of finding some type of work that I might enjoy, or at least doesn’t make me want to poke my eyes out.
People always say to do what you love; unfortunately they don’t follow that up with instructions on how to accomplish it. This blog will be where I try to chronicle the crazy little things in life that bring me joy and satisfaction. Hopefully it will allow me to gain some insight into what exactly I’m passionate about and maybe, if I’m lucky, how to parlay that into a job.